What first gave me the idea that I might be pregnant was my swollen boobs followed by the immense pain that went with it.

When I would wake up from a night’s sleep, I swear it felt like there was a 15 pound plate on my chest.   I recall talking to a girlfriend who got her breast augmented and she told me the feeling after surgery was as if there was a bus on her chest and she had a hard time getting up.  Well, the pain wasn’t quite a bus, but maybe one of those Volkswagen beetle cars.

Anyway, the swelling and pain happened about 2 weeks before my next cycle (which unbeknownst to me, I was already almost 3 weeks preggo) and I thought from all the stress  I was experiencing, my cycle was off.  I remember telling my BD (baby daddy) and he jokingly suggested that I was pregnant.  I knew this wasn’t the case, since I’m unable to conceive (or so I thought), so I insisted that I knew my body and I was just getting my period early and the symptoms came early as well.  Granted, I usually don’t feel that much pain, but the swelling was normal.

A week later the pain persisted and I was now starting to get annoyed that I still haven’t gotten my period.  Again, my BD told me I might be preggo.   I brushed it off and for kicks, I took a test I had laying around at home.  Oh and if that 1 test wasn’t convincing enough, I went to the store and bought 2 more tests.   I won’t get into long details, but I went through the five stages of grieving (though it wasn’t grief I was feeling, just the stages):

• Denial- With spouts of denial laughter.  I swear I felt like I was crazy
• Anger- I was angry it happened to me at the time that it did- super new relationship, in between jobs and looking for a new place to live since I just moved out of my previous place
• Bargaining- Oh god, let this be true and please let this baby stay conceived and be born healthy.  I promise to give back to the Universe.
• Depression- How am I going to tell everyone about this?  No one is going to understand and who will be supportive?  I didn’t think I would get the supportive happy reaction I wanted since the BD and I were so new to the relationship department despite of our history.
• Acceptance- It took me like 4 whole weeks to accept I was pregnant.

Okay, so I’m pregnant and holy moly my boobs did not and still do not make this pregnancy enjoyable.   What triggered me to write this blog is the excruciating pain from my right nipple that I am currently experiencing.   Some times it’s the left and sometimes it’s the right, but the pain is all the same.  Imagine, if you will, someone biting the heck out of it and if you’re into that kinky S&M stuff, let me tell you, there is NOTHING enjoyable about it!

The pain comes and goes and you are tempted to rub it to soothe the pain, but just be aware of your surroundings, because I have been absent minded to try and soothe it from the comfort of my cube at work.  Eek.

I HIGHLY recommend you switch over to maternity bras if you are busty-ish like I am (C/D cup).  The moment you take off your Victoria’s Secret bra and your breasts fall, it feels like your boobs weigh 20lbs each and oh-my-pain from gravity!  I even wear a maternity sleep bra to help ease the morning and middle-of-the-night pain.  Even my BD tells me how heavy they feel when he cups them.

Ladies, I tell you, there is no shame to the maternity bra game.  Do what you need to support those girls.  Anything padded, push-up or wire is going to make you very uncomfortable, but then again, this is just my experience.  Let ’em flap and free fall if that makes you happy… as for me,  I’m not taking any chances on my milk producers.  haha.